By Wanda L. Brown (Contributing Article Writer)
Sibella Circle Member & Visionary Leader
In my younger days, setting boundaries were as foreign to me as the Chinese language. Children were to be seen and not heard. It took a lot of effort to learn to set healthy boundaries, but as my walls came down, I needed something meaningful to replace them. I couldn’t think of anything better than learning to set boundaries.
My journey concerning setting boundaries has been a mountain climbing experience. I take one step at a time, as I remain grounded. I look upward, and I refuse to look down on myself. This is how I began making ground. Setting boundaries assisted my search in finding my true value and self. I learned that mixed messages are unacceptable and that I need to be clear and know what I want and deserve. Setting boundaries commands respect.
In the beginning, I felt very uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as I did allowing people to walk all over me. I learned to say no without the thank you, and to state that one’s behavior is inappropriate. I tightened my boot straps and I learned to stand tall. My eyesight sharpened. I could see people were recognizing that I was not their play toy. They could not throw me out as though I was trash, because I stopped totally giving myself to anyone except God.
Many times, I have asked God to be a fence around me, but now I understand that Jesus is a carpenter who provides me with the tools I need to form beautiful boundaries which offer their own protection. Boundaries became a great deliverer of peoples’ opinions of me. I no longer explain myself; instead I express myself. I got rid of the habit of saying, “I’m sorry,” when I had not done anything wrong. I became more open to others’ opinions about things, but I now offer an opinion as well. I am no longer a target for others’ projections. I am too busy climbing my own mountain.
I never dreamed that I would love setting boundaries, even though others say that I have changed! I am glad that they can see clearly too. I have been assured that I can learn anything, even the Chinese language, which I believe is beautiful too.
Pennsylvania –– USA