By Christine Kay (Contributing Article Writer)
Sibella Circle Member & Visionary Leader
How many of the decisions we make are actually our own?
Since I moved back to the UK to live with my 95 year old mother after living out of the country – 15 years in the West Indies and 13 in Canada – I can see more clearly how much of my thinking and many of my opinions were formed by my upbringing. A lot of my beliefs are not my beliefs at all but my mother’s, father’s or brother’s beliefs. Or they are cultural or generational. They are so ingrained that most of the time I don’t question them.
Opinions are imposed upon us by the media and advertising; from doctors and other professionals. From these opinions, we make choices. These days there is a wealth of information out there to aid in the decision making process or does it? Personally I’m suffering from information overload, and what’s true anyway? Aaaaaagh! Cries of anguish.
Some people deliberately lead us into making unsound decisions for their own gains or to make a profit in some way. Most people though are genuine, if sometimes misguided, in sharing what they believe.
Most of my decisions recently have been based around my mother. She has her main meal of the day at noon. So do I. She goes to bed early, so do I. Her house, her rules. Woe betide if I go out with wet hair as I’m bound to catch my death of cold. A lot of my decisions are made from the anything for a quiet life standpoint.
I realize too I’ve been making decisions in my business based on other peoples’ notions of success. I’m supposed to be aiming for a six-figure business and building a massive list and focusing on a niche and so on. Well, what if their definition of success is not my definition of success? Making decisions based on the input of business gurus is not necessarily pointing me in the right direction. Worse still I end up feeling a failure because I don’t “succeed” by using their recipe and following the decisions they have made. I’ve decided to do business my way.
Sometimes I catch myself taking a course of action to gain approval and often that’s a signal I’m not doing the best thing for me.
So often in the past I’d be paralyzed and waffle around before making a decision. Of course, not making a decision is also a decision.
Then I discovered that very few decisions are wholly irrevocable. If I make the wrong decision I just decide again to make another different one. Simple.
Besides it's a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, isn’t it?
Cumbria –– United Kingdom